Everything you’ve written here is so validating. I turned 30 this year and although I thought I had a fairly good relationship with my body, I have been spiralling. Part of it is grappling with the sudden changes your physical appearance makes as you leave your twenties - all perfectly normal but a shock nonetheless - and part of it is how I have put on a huge amount of weight over the last two years due to an anti-anxiety medication. Your point about there being no positive alternative for those on antidepressants is so real and it frustrates me that even though I can finally function without chronic panic attacks, I can’t enjoy it because of the weight gain. I personally feel a lot of pressure and almost an existential crisis around turning thirty and knowing I do not ever want children. In the eyes of society, what value do childless, midsize women hold as they age? Watching people shrink around me makes all of it worse and just exacerbates the issue.
Sending you love Jen, existing in a body with all these toxic influences and messaging sucks. No matter how your body changes, and no matter what the world says, you are always valuable and enough. Whatever path we end up taking doesn't change that either. I hope you can take extra care of yourself ❤️
Everything you’ve written here is so validating. I turned 30 this year and although I thought I had a fairly good relationship with my body, I have been spiralling. Part of it is grappling with the sudden changes your physical appearance makes as you leave your twenties - all perfectly normal but a shock nonetheless - and part of it is how I have put on a huge amount of weight over the last two years due to an anti-anxiety medication. Your point about there being no positive alternative for those on antidepressants is so real and it frustrates me that even though I can finally function without chronic panic attacks, I can’t enjoy it because of the weight gain. I personally feel a lot of pressure and almost an existential crisis around turning thirty and knowing I do not ever want children. In the eyes of society, what value do childless, midsize women hold as they age? Watching people shrink around me makes all of it worse and just exacerbates the issue.
Sending you love Jen, existing in a body with all these toxic influences and messaging sucks. No matter how your body changes, and no matter what the world says, you are always valuable and enough. Whatever path we end up taking doesn't change that either. I hope you can take extra care of yourself ❤️